WILL YOU MARRY ME? Yes? Amazon Wedding Registry SMASHES WOMEN's Wedding Expectations!

Updated: Jun 23

Giiiirl! Did you just tie the knot? Did you just shackle the man of your dreams to you through obligatory, contractual agreements? Did you just shoot an arrow into the knee of your favorite boy toy? Well if so, I have GREAT news for you: amazon.com’s wedding registry. Sure, your soon-to-be hubby might not be a sexually deviant billionaire, or a werewolf, or a vampire – but that doesn’t mean your wedding deserves anything less than the best. And with amazon.com’s wedding registry, you and your bae are sure to shine beyond your wedding day!

“But Mr. Fisher, I thought you was a video gamer! I thought video gamerz didn’t know the warm embrace of the woman you love!” Well, we do! We do know what it’s like to be married; and have kids, and a dog, and a mother-in-law. We gamers too know what it’s like when your sweety leaves you for some rapper named, “Dando”

“Oooooh! Dando! What a cool guy. He can raise Fisher’s flesh and blood.” Do you think we gamerz don’t know heartache? You think we gamerz don’t know nothing about marriage?!? You’re wrong. I’m sure it has happened before, and I’m sure it will happen again. We’ve all been there: being a big, stupid, dumb-dumb. I’ve been wrong before, too.

Yeah, me. I’ve been wrong before. I was wrong about Kathelene – she was wrong about me. Now a god***n rapper named Dando is raisin’ my children. Maybe I’m wrong about Dando, too. Hell, Kathlene always said I was wrong about everything. Yeah. Maybe Dando ain’t so bad. Maybe life ain’t so bad. I can’t be wrong about everything. I wasn’t wrong about amazon.com’s wedding registry, after all. With amazon’s wedding registry, I can sneakily hint at items that my marriage may or may not necessitate.

That’s right. Even ole’ Fisher considers taking an arrow to the knee once more. Yup. This old chunk of coal ain’t turned off by that idea: not even with some dopey rapper raisin’ my children. No, I’m looking forward to my next ex-Mrs. Fisher. And when that day comes, I will be sure to check out the wedding registry at our second favorite affiliate’s website: amazon.com/wedding.