Confessed Arsonist Talks: Cyberpunk 2077 Part 1

Cyberpunk 2077 maybe THE most anticipated game of the past decade. Nevertheless, due to delay, after delay, after delay, some fans have questioned the integrity of the game. Could these delays act as an overhype of the title? Does recent gameplay footage redeem the developers for their lack of punctuality? LazyGamer decided to go on the ground with an exclusive interview from a confessed arsonist.

LazyGamer (LG): Mr. Brunswick, thank you for joining us this evening.

Kaleb Brunswick (KB): Thank you for having me.

(LG): Our pleasure. So, when do you remember first hearing about Cyberpunk 2077?

(KB): Oh, I reckon it musta been a couple years ago now. Yup, I was in county, just down-westward of Amherst. I was doin’ time for… well you know what for. In any case, my bunkmate was chattin’ me up, as was his wont. He’s goin’ on about how he gon’ get fah fah away from this place. Says he gon’ be some type of big wig lawyer so long as he can get ‘em self straight and get the hell outa the bayou. Yessuh, he was all types of excited to get away from the 6 by 8 livin’ stylin’. In fact, bout the only thing he was more excited about than being a free man studyin’ the book of law was this new video game called cybuh punk! I says, “Clay, what in THE hell is a cybeuh punk?” I member clay just lookin’ back in my direction with disappointment and reproach.

(LG): I certainly hope the integrity of your friendship wasn’t compromised due to your ignorance of Cyberpunk.

(KB): Oh, nah. We wasn’ necessarily friends no how: Jus’ bunkmates. And on occasion bunkmates with benefits – but nuttin’ more, I swear.

(LG): Uh huh.

(KB): As I was sayin’, ole’ boy don’ got hisself all worked up ovuh a video game: A video game! Can you believe that? Well, I didn’ think too much of it and six months later I find myself a free man, once more. Now, I ain’ really into the video gamin’ stuff. I mean, some titles spark my interest – some titles ignite a fire in me that not many other things can compare to. Still, video gamin wasn’ my bag. But somethin’ bout this cybuh punk thing, it piqued my interest.

(LG): And how’d you feel about it’s many, many delays with regards to its release date?

(KB): Oh, mistuh Fisher, it just burns me up, lemme tell ya. Like I said, I ain’ nevuh been this excited bout a video game before. Just plum broke my heart to hear the game was getting’ delayed. And right when I start piecing my heart back together, they just up and delay it again. Now, I ain’ a learn’ed man, but to me it seems like they breakin’ the numbuh one rule of commerce: the customer is always right.

(LG): Is that right?

(KB): Ya damn straight! Ow you gon’ getcha customers to buy your product if you keep on pushin’ the release date? Now, that don’ seem much like what the customer wants, do it? It don’t. Nuh huh. Still though, I’m excited bout it! ‘Ow they gon’ do that? Not give the customer what he want but the customer still want what he shouldn’ want? Everything I see bout the thing makes me forgive ‘em. Now, I don’ do to much reading no more on account of my condition.

(LG): What condition might that be?

(KB): Oh, all the Doctors says I’m illiterate. They says this condition severely affects my ability to read written word. I reckon I don’ need no written words though. Hell, most things got pictures nowadays, and I just bout understand all the memes I see online. At any rate, I don’ do too much readin’, but I ain’ ignorant. I used to be all burnt up bout the release date, but recent game footage change my mind.

(LG): (Laughing) yeah, you weren’t the only one fired up about the delays. We here at LazyGamer were quite heated ourselves. But I know what you mean about the recent footage.

(KB): Absolutely! The fist fight with them weird twins with the one synchronized brain…

(LG): Let’s pause right here, Mr. Brunswick. We’ll pick it up tomorrow.

(KB): Yessuh, that’s fine by me.


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